Here’s how the Opening to Relationship spread worked out for me recently… It definitely called me out on my shit and nicely focused my way forward. I hadn’t actually tried this spread out on myself because I was all like ‘I’m really happy in my relationship!’, but obviously being really happy in your relationship doesn’t mean you aren’t putting your bullshit into it. I can now, with authority, say this is a badass spread.
For the details of how to do it and a clearer picture of the positions go here.
As usual I’m using the Mary El Tarot.
The first three cards are the pile in the middle from the bottom up. For the cards around the outside I will say whether they are going ‘in’ or ‘out’ of the relationship.
What my partner is to me – Ace of Cups:
He really is a beautiful messenger of love. He has brought me a new understanding of what love is in a beautiful quiet, spiritual, emotional, subconscious way. He is also a Scorpio so this makes a lot of sense. Basically he’s the best and my angel of love.
My positive charge around the relationship – The Empress Rx:
This confused me initially, I wondered why such a normally positive card reversed was representing my positive charge. I wrote down my initial intuitive interpretation, then let the whole spread settle in and realised that yes, my first response was totally right and worked for the spread as a whole. The safety and freedom of the love offered by my husband has allowed me to begin shedding my previous ideas of what I needed to be in a relationship, what I needed to be to have value in an intimate relationship. I always saw myself as a nurturer, mother, provider for the growth of others, but I pursued this life purpose to the detriment of my own growth and creativity. This was a self imposed persona of what I thought I should be, what I thought would give me value in the world. I thought this was my value in the world. My relationship has allowed me to begin shedding this self imposed prison.
My negative charge around the relationship – 4 of Cups:
I feel resentful and impatient of the slow emotional labour of love. Called. The fuck. Out.
Ancestral/soul work I’m doing in this relationship – 9 of Wands (Out):
I am awakening my creative drive, my libido, and I am truly coming alive after so many generations of the women in my family sacrificing themselves for their families. I no longer live in a time when this self sacrifice, this martyrdom is necessary and this relationship is enabling me to do this incredibly important ancestral work. I am utilising both my strengths and my shortcomings to boldly create and express everything that I truly am! Boom!
Source of the positive charge – The Chariot (Out):
I actually am able to utilise my free will, I am actually free to do and be whatever I want. I may have imposed old prisons on myself due to all kinds of messaging I received. But in reality I am free to set my intentions and act as I wish in the world. I also think all the travel and movement that me and my husband have done together since we met has helped me to shed my old cage.
Expression of the positive charge – The Hanged Man (Out):
Releasing my guilt at not being the ‘perfect’ mother, nurturer, carer into the earth. This is some deep business. I am destroying my old self and fertilising the earth with its rotting carcass for new life to grow.
Source of the negative charge – Page of Swords (Out):
I am an impatient heart centred spiritual seeker, I want to fly on in my spiritual quest! I want to get there yesterday!! I want my relationship and my husband to be moving through the spiritual realms at great speed with me!!! Or being dragged painfully behind me if necessary!! Yes. Called out. Clearly I need to chill the fuck out and remember that everyone’s journey is different, my husband’s journey is a beautiful watery Scorpio journey, mine is a fast, fiery and furious Sagittarian journey. I need to respect that, but obvs it’s a struggle.
Expression of the negative charge – King of Disks (In):
Ummm, so yeah, I’m projecting my frustrations at not following my desires into the relationship, seeing my relationship as dulling my fires, as restricting me, but as always, thats me doing that. Probably in part because of the old persona I’m shedding, but this spread makes clear that a lot of that is coming from my own impatience… yeah, fine, whatever… truth bomb, ouch.
Healing the expression of my positive charge can bring to the source of my negative charge – 8 of Disks (In):
In releasing my guilt around not being the perfect nurturer, shedding the old persona, I gain truth and honesty about myself. This will enable me to lighten up and chill the fuck out. It has the potential to transform my impatience into power that feeds the relationship and brings it strength and balance.
Healing the source of my positive charge can bring to the expression of my negative charge – 8 of Swords (Out):
Interestingly both of my healing cards are 8s, all about coming into my personal power, authority, confidence, getting shit done! With this 8 it’s about understanding my feelings of restriction as self imposed. I have a strong will and I can locate and enact my desires in the world. Getting into my Chariot will, and seeing that I am not in fact restricted, has the potential to enable me to stop projecting my feelings of restriction into the relationship. I can instead actually enact my desires out into the world, unrestricted. Ugh. Why can’t I just blame someone else for me not doing what I want? So much easier 🙂
Current potential from this union – The Magician (In):
Pure power of creation and manifestation coming into the relationship. A powerful union that benefits us both with its magic! There really is manifesting magic in the lovely bubble of our relationship.
Overall this was a super useful check in with where I’m really at with my relationship. I really appreciate how much its called me out on my shit and how much clarity it offered me on where my focus needs to be. Getting into my own damn power, realising that I’m no longer in a cage, like the generations before me really have been, and getting on with my own business! It also gave so much lovely clarity on what a beautiful gift of lovely love my husband is to me and how I need to be patient and chill out and just love him right back.